Running a marathon, quitting smoking–all are impressive personal feats, but meaningful behavioral changes are those that have a positive impact on other people’s lives. This type of change can be as simple as calling a parent more often or as complicated as shifting careers to benefit family. Most of us recognize the usefulness of behavioral change for those who work and live around us—perhaps we can even pinpoint what needs changing— but few of us have been able to effect that behavior. What stands in our way are the millions of observed and unconscious stimuli we encounter in our daily environments— it’s a problem of triggers.

Everyone has their own personal trigger—the smell of bacon in the morning triggering hunger or the truck cutting us off in traffic triggering anger—these stimuli divert us from being our best (skinny and calm) selves. Of course, triggers only matter insofar as how we react to them, but environmental triggers are usually more insidious than a careening truck at six in the morning. The most dangerous and damaging triggers occur in specific settings—at meetings, in competitive situations, or when paired with a person who rubs us the wrong way—circumstances in which negative behaviors occur spontaneously and have permanent consequences.